Not a Skimpy Hole

The arrival of Emma and Bronwyn to spend a few days with us around Anzac Day meant that we altered our plans a bit, and the elephant in the room, Wave Rock, got a call up. We would go camping for 4 days, leave Perth and head west into Goldfields Country!

Tin Horse ballerina

Wave Rock at Hyden was originally on the planned route we would take. It got shafted pretty quickly by a healthy dose of realism from Sara ie "how good can a big rock be, I can't be stuffed driving all that way for granite". With some skilled negotiation from myself, and assurance from Tony that Kalgoorlie was also worth a look, we headed back East. My concerns that the kids had become soft after the green grass of Mandalay, and the comfort of living in a house again, were quickly put to bed.

The Tin Horse Highway was requested from the back seat after Ivy had been perusing the map and associated brochures. Not sure who taught her to read, but we are paying dearly for it. Pretty funny deviation though. We got to the rock, clambered over it, generally remarked that it was a fairly impressive piece of geological engineering, and headed out to find a campsite. A track was spotted off to the side of the road near some caves. We took it, and discovered a cleared area free from Wicked campervans. Tents were put up, food was prepared, and dry wood collected for a campfire. Fly nets on, we were no longer a team of doughboys, we were the very definition of a bush camp hardened family.

Tin Horse bar

The next few days were like that. Walking, driving, crosswords and bad eighties music in the car whenever Bruno Mars was resting (not often). We camped each night, with fires. Flies went on once, but the threat of a big storm never eventuated despite lightning storms that shut local mining down.



Hamma gets a wave

We arrived in Kalgoorlie after having survived the 2WD version of the 4WD John Holland track. The storms had all but closed the SuperPit to tourists, so we did the next best thing and sat down in front of a locally produced mining propaganda video to learn about how good mining actually is for the environment and local communities. This was followed by a far more entertaining video produced by a British company, that emphasised how dangerous, but ultimately boring and sad it must be to drive a massive tip truck in all conditions for 12 hours, then go out and spend all your money at the local pub paying extra to watch some equally well paid lass serve beer in her undies. The kids were agog as the skimpies pranced around. Not sure it left the best impression on them; take home message...stay in school!! 

Pink Lake???

We felt we'd seen enough and barrelled back to Perth via the brownest Pink Lake we've seen to date, and the 3rd biggest monolith in Australia. Estimated climbing time? 1 1/2 hours. Anderson climbing time? 25 minutes.The White Kenyans might still have us on the flat, we'll take them in the hills. Final night was a road side rest stop and we fell asleep to the gentle hum of road trains thundering through. Not looking forward to introducing them to Kimmy. And finally, to answer Nick's question, "Was Wave Rock worth it?" It was merely one part of the whole (hole) trip but I'd swap it for an elephant anyday!

H

The Mandalay Country Club

Caravan parks and the people who visit them are, as I have said, a world unto themselves, and, as I have also said, a world we were blissfully unaware of 3 months ago. A reliable looking chap we met in the park in Traralgon when we picked Kimmie up, wondered aloud to me how parks get their star rating. He'd stayed in ones that had blocked toilets, no plugs in the sinks, and dogs defacating on the denuded grass sites, but still they had 4 stars! Imagine!  However, he assured me in a conspiratorial you're one of us now even if your van is shiny and you drive a LandRover tone, that the Mandalay Caravan Park in Busselton was worth every one of it's 5 stars. And so, based on this chap's obvious experience and wealth of knowledge, (he did show us how to change the anode in our hot water service), and because we don't like to disappoint people, when it came time we booked Mandalay.


Bombing with JB



I did refer to Mandalay in my last post as being like the Augusta golf course. I was very prepared to not like it. It was expensive, the activities they had promised didn't happen, the kids didn't really make new friends as all the kids knew each other from previous sentences, and it was  very sterile. However, as I walked  with Ivy to the ablution block, not toilet block coz that's not classy, for the last time, I realised I would miss Mandalay. I'd miss the atmosphere more than anything else. It really did feel relaxing even if we barely said boo to our neighbours.

Jen and the Goodge

I'd enjoyed watching West Coast smash the Melbourne team on the big screen. I'd enjoyed watching Oli talk to the pierced, tattooed, blue singleted bloke about Dean Cox even more. The oval was perfect for barefoot footy and watching Ned's drop punts. The kids did have the run of the place, disapearing to the pool(s) or the jumping pillow or the playground(s) or to do laps of the place on their scooters. We'd had great company, first Joc and Tony, and then Jen, JB, Kitty, Billy and Alice (aka the Goodge or The Fat Controller). We'd toured the district, sampled the local produce, visited the beaches and walked the jetty. I was hailed as a genius by several blokes who thought that putting grease proof paper over the top of the BBQ so that the person who had used the BBQ before you didn't poison you with his underdone chicken satay strips, was the greatest thing they had ever seen (thanks Tan). I did meet other inhabitants. Jamie who thought Oli was a remarkable kid and that Ben Cousins was too..., Jaiden the jockey who only eats 4 chicken nuggets for dinner, and Jeff who recommended a couple of 5 star parks in Queensland for us to visit.

 

Ivy and Kitty in Snuggle Cave



We left the park on Monday and headed north to Fremantle. Jen and JB had already escaped under cover of darkness very early that morning. They said it was because the Fat Controller refused to go back to sleep at 12:30am again, but I think the real reason was because JB hadn't paid for Jen or Alice! Our first stop in Perth was at Curt (ex NY Magpie) and Leonie's house in Swanbourne. The first house we'd been in in 3 months. Great spot, and to be welcomed with cup cakes and home brewed ginger beer softened the Hawks loss to Geelong a little bit. Curt parked the van in his front yard so easily it was as if he'd been reversing tractor trailers in Illinois all his life, and we left for Jen and JB's house in Fremantle via the coast road. Not sure their house is quite 5 star at the moment, but I'm certain the company will be.

H

PS Photos of the Goodge to come

On a BTWT (Bush Tucker winery Tour)with J,T,H,S,O,N & I

The Mandalay Caravan Park, or more precisely, the Mandalay Country Club, is completely different to anywhere we have stayed at before. Sara had someone assist her with parking the van. There are rules for everything including the use of mosquito coils. Two pools, several playgrounds, manicured lawns, and bathroom floors you could eat off makes for a far more sterile environment than we are used to. It feels like we are camping at Augusta to watch the golf. I even saw another Disco here, a Series 4 no less. Still, the kids are happy and occupied. Oli and Ned have befriended a 16 year old kid called Jaiden. He is about to start an apprenticeship as a jockey which is why he looks and sounds like he is 12.

Joc and Tony left this morning. We'd had a busy few days, the culmination of which was a winery tour. Sara had been very concerned that a day of drinking might turn into some debauched Contiki Tour. "My parents aren't into fun" she said as she booked. Her request to have Kylie Minogue taken off the stereo was not heeded and we set off with Greg our impressively mustachioed driver at the helm.

Ned and a Chateau d'Eau, 2008

Nine others joined us for the day. Two couples from Perth, one couple from Brisbane, and three very dour Swedes who didn't say much at all, one of them wedded to her iPhone. By the time we got to our third stop the day was looking very promising. I'd already mistaken my glass of water for a crap Semillon with absolutely no nose or fruit flavour at all. Tony had emptied his unwanted Rosé into the ice bucket instead of the spit bucket, Joc stealthily grabbed free postcards, and Sara's voice got louder as she decried wines she felt weren't worthy even as she admitted they all taste the same to her, "might as well stick to our cleanskins". At lunch, Tony confused the less and less perfectly coiffed blonde woman from Brisbane sitting next to him, by insisting on asking for condiments using abbreviations eg BTP (Bush Tomato Pesto), MC (Mango Chutney), and WTSB (Wattle Tree Seed Bread).

3 cheesy kids

Practice makes perfect at the chocolate bowls

After lunch we returned to the chocolate and cheese factories much to the kids delight. A liqueur distillery gave us some cocktails, but because I'm a 44 year old man, not a 17 year old girl, the benefits of a drink that tastes like a Caramello Koala but kicks like a mule were a bit lost on me. The day ended at Saracen Winery. An amazing display of stonework and landscaping masked the fact that the place is going into receivership. If they'd been prepared to discount their wines, I could have been able to help them out a bit.

Celebrity heads

Greg dropped us back at the MCC having given the kids a stubby holder for good behaviour. Jaiden, the kids and I went swimming in the pools which meant I missed the debrief, but essentially it went like this. The first two wineries were best, it would have been better if the bloke who had started up Knotting Hill wines had stuck to wheat farming, the coffee was good at the distillery, and the Swedish woman on the phone was the daughter of the other two. Not sure what the girls made of her dress.

Once Joc and Tony had left for Perth, we made good use of the two hours left on their cabin rental, cooking up porridge and watching television. Oli had already scavenged the soaps, shampoos, conditioner, tea and coffee much to Joc's delight. She and Sara had previously stripped the basil bush bare. Definitely not typical MCC behaviour. Today it's raining again, but

it's not cold. I'm watching Ned and Ivy skid off the jumping pillow into the sand and onto their heads. I'll potter, fix the gas stove, and put up the annex in preparation for the arrival of the Boston's. Don't fret JB, the esky will be full of ice. Might need a couple of AFD's before then.

H

Grape grazing

No BackStory Required

Leaving the campsite at Alexandra Bridge we drove through Margaret River on our way to Bunbury. The chocolate factory loomed in the distance. It engaged its tractor beam and we were stuck there, again, filling our hands with chocolate buttons, and saving money as Oli reminded me.

Back on the road for what would prove to be a mercifully quick trip up the road given the state of mania that now made itself known in the back seat. Bunbury proved to be another Western Australian town of new housing estates and little evidence that people actually settled here over 100 years ago. We visited the dolphin discovery centre and learnt a lot about octopi, but didn't see a dolphin. Perhaps they were off fighting sharks. There had been another shark attack the day before, and all the beaches were closed. They don't close the roads if there's a car accident but at least it gave me a real reason for not being able to get a wave.

At the park, we set about getting the van ship shape for Joc and Tony's imminent arrival. It was so good to see them. The best part was there was no time wasted on "where are you from, where are you going, are you home schooling the kids etc etc etc". It was fantastic to be able to sit and chat, tell old jokes, and relax into a comfortable environment. Like being at home but surrounded by Australian flags, motorbikes, cigarettes and empty vodka cruiser bottles. Oh, and Tattoo Dude showed up too.

Tony and a cockatiel

We had a look around Bunbury. We walked with Tua among the Tuart trees, and visited a rundown little bird and kangaroo park which was a surprising hit. The kids had bags of seed and were attacked by cockatiels and parrots. Even Sara got into the act, but Joc stayed put under her umbrella. The weather has been as bad as we have seen it over the past three
months with squally rain all weekend. No leaks in the van though.

Joc hates birds

Unfortunately, the same couldn't be said for Jen up in Perth. On the day we were supposed to leave Bunbury for Busselton, Tony and I drove up to Perth to help her fix up the tarpaulin over the unfinished renovation she and Jim are doing in Fremantle. Again, it was fantastic to see Jen despite the circs. I loved being able to do something useful and different; I even got to use the nail gun, once. I used the fishing knots Tony from Port Neill had taught me to tie the tarp down, which proved a far more successful purpose than catching fish ever did.

The drive back was uneventful, just talk back radio filled with indignant people who had been ripped off by parking officers. Because we had gone on the mercy dash, Sara and Joc had had to take the van to Busselton. They were able to do this without any dramas at all. Parking assistance is part of the deal at the Mandalay Country Club, and by the time Tony and I got home, everything was well under control. Even the beer was cold. As if I could have expected anything less.

H

Fonzi the Emu